it's been a while. you want a post, you got a post.

so how goes it?
alec and i are official now. he's keeping his promise. it doesn't feel like anything changed, really. i miss him, the usual.


i keep wondering if this is what i'm going to look back on when i'm thirty, forty, working my ass off trying to remember what my dream was in the first place. am i going to scoff at my fifteen year old self, spending friday nights at home alone and sleeping after coming home from school. am i going to remember the drudgery, or after a certain age do you just remember those little sparkling moments that make you feel so right? i'm not sure which one i'd really prefer.

on the plus side, my first hour + movies about the berlin wall are great for napping. i'd feel bad, but at the same time i almost feel righteous because i got to sleep due to my teacher being too lazy to even make us take notes.

there you go. tonight isn't a night for formulating words.

"dude, my ass would be kicked from here to warped tour in california."

"ohhh do that, circa survive is playing!"



i love andre and i's texting conversations.

i feel like a douche because i've had this song on repeat for what seems like all day and it's slowly making me feel okay.

the concert was cool. that's about all i feel like sharing with the general public, for now.

things i love about life, #4952.8

when people leave you comments like this :



(click for full picture)

and you're not sure if they're high or just bored.



hooray for cute stoners!

there is no such thing as forever.


i'm sick and eating ramen. my mom's sick too, but worse than i am now. i was wanting to puke for about two hours worth of car ride home yesterday. fuck being sick. i can't say the same about ramen, but whatever.

the phone month finally restarted- i had over 6600 texts in the last month. wow i'm such an idiot.
here comes a text now. ironyironyirony.


my plan is to stay and bed and watch old episodes of house and hope that i'm well enough tomorrow to not have to miss the debate party. like, fuck class, i want to see the debate kids again :D
i should post pictures from states but i'm too lazy and besides, i'm eating ramen.


not much else going on worth talking about.

oh, last night i went to bed with my shirt on and when i woke up it was inside out. crazyyy.

the funeral was sad but not really because she died. i just hate seeing people lose ones they love.
a lady in her car stopped when we were all on the steps when they were loading the casket into the hearse and i saw her make the sign of the cross. even if i don't do the whole god/jesus/holy spirit thing, i think it was really touching.


my back kills like you wouldn't believe. fucking serves me right for never standing up straight, but i'm going to be selfish and take too much motrin and bitch on here because i don't want to tell my mom or she'll make me work out and stuff.



men are really really crazy. i've been talking to alec more now that i'm away and won't have seen him in like three or four weeks. haha. my texting is over 4900. my grandparents swear i'm going to get carpal tunnel. i barely ate today but had a really, really good organic tea yesterday when we were wandering around the little town to get out of the wake for a bit. my mom and sister and i ended up in a really cozy tavern, drinking more tea to stay warm. i could've stayed there forever.

well, i guess states was cool.
i'm exhausted but i think it was worth it.

i'm trying to get the page with my final rank to load but i'm almost afraid. i guess the judges liked longer speeches and less time for cross examination, when the usual ones don't mind the length as long as it's good

i guess the page doesn't exist yet. whatever? i'm going to go clean my room and nap.
i'm leaving for a funeral tuesday or wednesday. i guess this means monday is the only guaranteed day i'll be in class.
i need to get james to help me with the take home problems tomorrow.